I won't give my real name, but you can call me Jack. A while back, my wife went to Jim Click to look at a Certified Pre-Owned Hyundai Santa Fe because we were looking for something more family-suitable. We have a young son and wanted to feel safer on the road. Go figure now we don't feel safe anywhere. My wife told me that after she test-drove the 2023 Hyundai Santa Fe in Twilight Black, she sat down with the salesman in the office and negotiated for the best price. It wasn't her first rodeo and she does her homework when it comes to fair market price and avoiding unnecessary add-ons. When it came time to stay within the budget we discussed and leveraging with our bank's interest rates, she played hardball and when she drew the final line, that's when things got weird.
The salesman, according to her, slowly started to laugh, got up out of his chair and walked toward the window that oversaw the car lot. It, evidently, took a whole 30 seconds of silent staring out of the window before he asked her "are you sure you don't want to take our offer?" My wife is a bit stubborn, so she said something off-kilter like "I could find a better deal in Hell". The salesman didn't even break concentration and began to laugh again as she walked out. She said she could have sworn she faintly heard him speaking in tongues or Latin or something when she was leaving the building. She didn't think anything much of it but when she told me, it kind of left me with a weird feeling in my gut.
We didn't talk about it again and for about a week after we were scouring private sellers on Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist. We found a couple of promising offers but we were in no rush. Life went on per usual but about a week later our youngest son was at the foot of our bed at 3 a.m. and my wife and I woke up in surprise when he was quietly muttering, "mom...dad...they won't stop dancing."
He's had nightmares like most kids his age and told him to go back to sleep and to not think about it. We figured it was from watching too many of those TikTok dances, but he refused to go back into his room unless we came with him to check it out. It was already a windy night and our Mesquite trees tend to hit up against the outside of our walls so we figured that could be what woke him up as well. We came into his room while avoiding tripping over toys and tucked him back in bed. His window curtains were closed but he kept staring at them saying that he thinks they were still dancing. Like any good dad, I went over to open them to prove that there was nothing outside while my wife tried not to let out a laugh.
As I stepped closer to the window, I could hear the tapping from the wind intensify and my son recoiled a bit as I grabbed the curtain to pull it open. As soon as I pulled the curtains to the side, I let out a shriek and my wife let out fearful expletives we all bore witness to two lifeless eyes and a white abyss of a smile on an undulating red, tubular face with snake-like plastic hair gazing back at us while two demonic, flailing inflatable arms mocked us for a split second before it disappeared into the void of night.
My son began to cry and I told my wife to take him and our daughter to our bedroom while I went to grab my baseball bat and stormed out of our house to confront whatever the hell this was and make sure it wouldn't be able to breathe another breath. When I got to the outside of my son's window, there was no sign of this creature. There was a black ballpoint pen on the ground, but other than that, nothing out of the usual. I went back to my wife and she asked if we should call the cops, but the chances of them showing up for a funny-looking demon creature, let alone take a serious report, was slim to none. I told her I would just stay up and make rounds all night since my adrenaline was already shot up.
The next morning, through bloodshot eyes, I tried to ask her what she saw and we were both comforted in knowing that we weren't going crazy. She seemed a little apprehensive to admit what she thought she really saw but I was thinking the same. "It was one of those funny, inflatable flailing arm guy things like you see in front of a..." she paused and I finished her sentence: "dealership." I walked around the living room and remembered her talking about her recent, semi-traumatic experience at Jim Click. She nervously laughed and said "there's no way. That can't have anything to do with this...can it?" "I don't know, honey. I don't know."
Things began to intensify as the days went on and she kept getting calls while at work and couldn't answer. When she checked her call log, they were all different numbers and area codes and one even had a "666" area code which was very disconcerting. The dozen or so voicemails all had the same voice as the salesman she talked to and kept saying "we really hoped you would consider our offer. Please give us a call back." Then there would be static. She tried dialing back several of the numbers to threaten them with legal action but there was just a disconnected tone and slowed-down and reverbed elevator music.
When she told me this, I told her to block all of those numbers and to let me know if they started to pick back up again. We both work full time and we tend to just ignore all of these random calls but now there was an eerie cloud hanging over us both.
A couple of days later my wife's hiking group went up towards the Tumamoc Hill hiking trails and it always helps her ground herself and just take a break from life while enjoying time with friends. All of this absurdity would surely evaporate in the mid-day sun with some laughs and sweat. Except it didn't. Halfway through, she told me that she was taking a water break as her friends went up ahead and began to gaze at all of the surrounding saguaro cacti while she noticed one was a little different than the others. She paused and took a deep breath to convince herself she wasn't losing her mind and then there it was. A wacky, inflatable wavy arm tube man in cactus form. She tried not to panic or alarm her friends but she began to fast walk toward them and asked one to walk back with her and look back up towards where she saw him. He was gone. Her friend asked if she was feeling okay and was concerned about heat stroke but my wife laughed it off and they kept hiking.
That night we looked up a few Tucson supernatural specialists and met with a highly rated psychic in Barrio Historico who gave us protection mantras, a couple of pocket Crosses and then blew incense in our faces after we explained what was happening to us. He said there have been several Tucson incidents similar to ours and he is in the process of consulting the 'other side' for answers. $150 hopefully well spent.
Another sighting happened while my wife and I were at Safeway and turned a corner to catch a glimpse of another wacky, inflatable wavy arm tube man pushing around a shopping cart. We both saw him and knew we had to confront him. We were both beyond fear at this point because now there was nothing left but anger and frustration. We didn't want to call too much attention to ourselves, but we tried to follow him into the next aisle as it disappeared around a corner. Nothing. No sign. Another black, ballpoint pen in the middle of the aisle and a loud family where he should have been. We've had more than enough.
I went with my wife back to the Jim Click and she asked one of the lot attendants for the salesman she talked to but he looked puzzled and asked if we were sure it wasn't another location. He saw my wife was on the verge of tears and believed us but had no clue who this salesman was. She asked to go inside to the office and the lot attendant didn't put up a fight. He told us there was another gentleman named "Chuck" who had been there for five years and when we walked in, my wife started laughing hysterically and asked where the other salesman was. Chuck tried not to act offended and put on a smile while offering to help us find a deal while glancing nervously over at the lot attendant. I was tempted to ask about their certified pre-owned SUVs again but figured it was not the time. My wife felt like she was about to faint so I held her by the arm and told them we were sorry and that we'd be back soon.
The nights became restless as now we were certain we were under some sort of curse. Whereas before I had my doubts and chalked everything up to coincidence and our minds playing tricks on us (because of lack of sleep or heat exhaustion) but now I knew we were under the control of some unearthly evil. Putting on a good face on for our son was the only thing that brought us back to some sort of normalcy. Thankfully, he wasn't bearing witness to anything we were and we wanted to let him stay in that comfort.
The sightings didn't let up and we're on month three now of frequent sightings. Just numb. Almost accepted. Out for birria tacos with my family...there's another one at the register. A group photo of me in my martial arts group and only I can see him there...with those eyes. Just staring. Out to a bar with a couple of buddies to forget. I can't forget because there he is at an empty table when I glance over for a second. I take a shot of tequila and look back and the table is empty again.
Therapy, pills, alcohol, psychics, church...nothing helps. We have given up and just accepted wacky, inflatable wavy arm tube man in our lives now. We don't expect you to believe us. We don't even care if you do. But we still care about finding a great, certified pre-owned deal on a 2023 Hyundai Santa Fe. Help us.
-Jack
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